Posted by Dinah on December 7, 2008, at 10:00:44
In reply to Re: I am puzzled » seldomseen, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 7, 2008, at 9:11:34
Perhaps the problem is different understanding of the same term? You're thinking of ego state therapy, which is a well defined mode of therapy.
While others may be thinking of their own experiences, where they use the same terminology, but mean something entirely different. I *know* I've read about ego states as a fragmentation less extensive than alters. I'm working from memory here, but that's vaguely what I recall.
Which would be something very different.
Speaking for myself only, I tend to be very sensitive to the whole dissociation issue. There is so much negativity out there, although frankly some of the proponents distress me as much as the naysayers. I really honor my therapist for respecting my experiences as my experiences, and not trying to dismiss them, but also not trying to squeeze them to fit something they really don't fit.
So perhaps your concern with your therapist on the topic isn't so different from Muffled's? The issue being that a therapist is not being respectful of your experience as you understand it, and you maybe feel she is trying to apply a theory that does not fit you?
I think it's fair to tell her that. Although I do believe in ego states (while I have no particular opinion on ego state therapy), I do think that sometimes therapy can create phenomenon that do not benefit the client. If you consider it, and find it does not fit, it's worthwhile discussing it with her. Perhaps when you talk about it without labels being applied, you'll find out what her thinking is and gain some insights, without every having to be forced into a box.
Do you think that there might be any underlying truths to what she says, even if you don't care for the conceptualization? You can think of things in many ways. For example, if she notices swift changes in your attitudes, and is thinking in terms of ego states, you might point out that what she's observing may be accurate, but that her conceptualization doesn't match yours. You might think of it as coping mechanisms kicking in, or that you express certain emotions in certain ways.
I say my therapist is respectful of my experiences, and that is true. But when I first tried to tell him about how I experienced myself, I had to talk in huge circles because I sensed his reluctance and disapproval. I eventually had to point out that his attitude was keeping me from being totally honest with him, he shared his concerns, and things really turned around. I think it's really important to have those conversations. I thought my therapist was inhibiting my ability to be open with him. Perhaps you think your therapist is pushing you to fit certain molds, which would also inhibit your ability to be open with her. It's early days yet, and you're getting to know each other and how each of you think.
From what you say about her, she seems very open to theories and experiences. Which is great! She can be open to *your* experiences, and to using a vocabulary and set of conceptualizations that suit your own experience.
poster:Dinah
thread:866729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/867216.html