Posted by seldomseen on November 30, 2008, at 7:42:29
In reply to Strategic Holidays, posted by Racer on November 29, 2008, at 12:54:10
The thing I have to most avoid is feeling "trapped" in the family situation.
I keep my visits short. Two nights is the absolute maximum length of stay.
I always have my car with me, but have to keep it locked because my father will pilfer through it trying to learn things about my personal life, financial situation etc...
I always have a pre-arranged, non-confrontational escape route if needed. If things get bad, I'll call a friend, have her call me about some emergency situation at home. Crises at work, or vet situations are the best.
I pick my battles very very carefully. Most stuff I just let roll around for a while.
I'm not perfect and occasionally they can say things that still leave a mark (especially my mother).
If absolutely provoked I will respond. I will definately fire a warning shot across her bow and demand that she back down. The key then is to ignore her cries of "woe is me" and hold her to her words. Nothing less than a full apology from her will diffuse the situation.
However, I can also be quite vicious, having learned from the best. If it reaches that point, I leave.
By maintaing an escape route, not accepting outright menace, and picking my battles I have been able to survive many many holidays and even managed a family vacation or two.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:865747
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865868.html