Posted by FindingMyDesire on November 26, 2008, at 18:54:49
In reply to a therapy survey- anything you might want to share, posted by obsidian on November 24, 2008, at 1:42:47
> 1) What are you working on in therapy?
Gender and sexuality issues, relationship problems, major anxiety, shame, myfatherscriticalvoicethatsstillinmyhead
>
>
> 2) What led you into therapy?It was a recommendation from our couple's therapist that I pursue individual therapy.
>
>
> 3) What are some of the problems that may be associated with therapy?I have incredibly intense feelings of love and sexual attraction for my T, which makes sense because of the work I'm doing (and if you saw her...) but it also gets in the way of me taking up space with my whole self which is what I'm trying to do outside the office... but I'm sure all of that is a "problem" that will eventually prove important to the work...
>
>
> 4) Is there some part of therapy or characteristic of therapy that you find especially helpful?My T is an incredible listener with an amazing memory. She keeps super boundaries which I need desperately. She is strong and consistent and caring. This all allows me to come in and talk about parts of me I feel are shameful or deserve to be squelched and because she remains caring, reflective, consistent, and encouraging, I leave feeling like I might possibly survive getting to know the various parts of myself that I repress.
>
>
> 4) Do you feel like you have been through different stages in therapy?Oh let's see. First I was totally crushed out. Then I was just crushed (hurt) about everything. Then she left me to go on maternity leave and that was a whole stage in and of itself. That was the sobbing stage - for three months. Then she came back. And then the trust grew stage - is growing - and I fight her quite a bit. But it's also the love stage. I'm just so in love with her. I'm in that stage right now. How long will that one last?
>
>
> 5) What's one problem that you can't seem to get rid of or something you have a hard time changing?
Anxiety and a sense of shame for simply existing.
>
>
> 6) What have you gained from therapy?Some relief from anxiety and some sense that being me doesn't have to be shameful (see above).
>
>
> 7) Do you think your therapist cares about you?
>Yes. I finally do.
>
> 8) Is there anything related to therapy that you wish you had done differently?I wished I had asked her about her sexual orientation on the first visit. She might have told me without fighting me so much on it months later...
>
>
> 9) What part of you do you think is most active and/or present in therapy? is it a particular part of you from the past?I have a confusing mix of me stimulated in there - the adult who wants to be seen for where I sit on the gender/sexuality continuums, and the little child who is seeking a parental, unconditional connection without criticism.
>
>
> 10) What is "the question" you might be asking in the therapy process?Can I relax enough, and trust in my connection to people enough, to just be all of me without self destructing from the shame and fear of it?
>Thanks for taking this survey!
FMD
poster:FindingMyDesire
thread:864975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865400.html