Posted by turtle on November 24, 2008, at 20:44:21
In reply to a therapy survey- anything you might want to share, posted by obsidian on November 24, 2008, at 1:42:47
Good questions! I have so enjoyed hearing what everyone is working on.
When I read your posts there are many ways that I identify with you. Many here are working to form a relationship with their therapist (as am I), but what I hear in you is the same struggle that I have to form a relationship with myself - both hating (and loving) being numb but not really knowing how to wake up and live either. It can really be painful to be fully self aware. All I can say is that I hope you don't give up trying.
> 1) What are you working on in therapy?Allowing the same compassion for myself that I give to others. Convincing myself to take the terrifying risk to attach. Being present and mindful. Not ignoring my emotions and pain. Remembering. Struggling to shift from wanting to not exist to wanting to live.
> 2) What led you into therapy?
Overwhelming depression and despair, which I blamed on someone else.
> 3) What are some of the problems that may be associated with therapy?Wanting more (time, connection, progress, relief) and not getting it. (Learning to ask, know what I need, and overcoming the fear of rejection is part of this for me.)
> 4) Is there some part of therapy or characteristic of therapy that you find especially helpful?Human connection and attention. Being seen by a real person.
> 4) Do you feel like you have been through different stages in therapy?Year 1 - waking up from a lifetime of being in a completely unaware of myself (I might as well have been drooling on myself.) Year 2 - looking around (internally) and saying, "what kind of nightmare is this?! Wow, did I really dream this?" Year 3 - real work.
> 5) What's one problem that you can't seem to get rid of or something you have a hard time changing?
Defining something as "can't get rid of" would mean losing hope I'm not there yet. I very much want to grow and change and I'm still making progress. It's all still up for grabs.
> 6) What have you gained from therapy?
Self awareness, even if compassion for myself isn't completely there yet.
> 7) Do you think your therapist cares about you?
The concept still seems strange to me. Maybe it would scare me if she cared
> 8) Is there anything related to therapy that you wish you had done differently?
Fire my first therapist after the first year instead of suffering through a mismatched second year just to be terminated painfully.
> 9) What part of you do you think is most active and/or present in therapy? is it a particular part of you from the past?
?
the scared part!
> 10) What is "the question" you might be asking in the therapy process?Learning how to live in my own skin.
poster:turtle
thread:864975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865094.html