Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2008, at 8:33:42
In reply to Please don't reject me, I am sorry, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on November 25, 2008, at 7:40:44
Hello Happyflower, it's nice to see you back. Well, nearly back. I confess that I feel a bit uncomfortable checking the "add name of previous poster" with your current posting name. I'm sorry but I really can't bring myself to refer to you as slugslime.
Babble isn't perfectly safe. There may be someplace in the world that is, but Babble can't be - open to the internet snd the public at large as it is.
You will be hurt at Babble, no doubt. Most Babblers are at one time or another. You're engaging in human interaction. It's a more achievable goal to learn to deal with the hurt than to never be hurt here. I've learned to accept, not gracefully perhaps, that some people will not like me. And those people will say things that might hurt me. Even the people who do like me may say things that hurt me. It's an achievable goal to learn to consider the whole of a person's relationship with you and to overlook the hurts because of it. It's an achievable goal to consider the whole of Babble's relationship with you and to live with the hurts because of it.
You haven't used up Babble's forgiveness for you. It's impossible. There are too many people who make up Babble. Some may have felt hurt and may not be able to engage at the moment. Others may feel able to engage at the moment. Redemption is possible at Babble. I know that personally.
You say that we all know you as the happy flower who could always laugh off the pain. It's not really how I've ever seen you. I've maybe seen you as the happy flower who would like to be able to always be able to laugh off the pain. Neither do I see you as slug slime. Maybe it would be helpful to you to amend your statements about yourself to address something closer to the middle? I fought with my therapist for years, saying how I described something didn't change what it was. But I fear he may have been right. How I describe something influences how I see it. And that allows opportunity for change.
Have you brought up all this with your therapist? I found my therapist invaluable in helping me navigate the stormy shoals of social interaction on an internet bulletin board. It does hurt sometimes. But the hurt doesn't have to destroy you or your relationships with others.
I'm glad to see you back. I hope you feel better soon. But there is no need to go back to laughing off pain, unless you find it helpful to you. I've always found that it was easier to deal with pain in small doses is easier than dealing with it all at once when the defenses fall. Again, maybe talk to your therapist about it?
poster:Dinah
thread:865155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865160.html