Posted by LadyBug on November 4, 2008, at 11:26:47
Yes, I'm anxious to say the least. My stomach is ready to fall out. It's been almost 6 months since I've seen her. Almost 7 months since she stabbed me in the heart with her comment.
I have no idea what she's thinking. If she's harboring negative feelings towards me I will get up and leave. I'll know that she truly hates me. This is my fear, I don't want her to hate me, yet there is this big part of me that hates her because of what she said to me that was so hurtful. Am I crazy? Why should I have let her hurt me like she did?
I've tried to think about it as much as I could. I think the complication begins with the intensity of the patient/therapist relationship. Her and I have always been close. She's been very responsive to me over the years. I thought she was simply the best. I thought she was near perfect.
I'm not sure what I want to accomplish by going to see her. I know what my wish is. I want her to be the T I've known for over 11 years. Not the one she turned into when I was struggling with more in my life than I could take.
I've tried to think of the things I will say as well as the things I'd like to say and won't. I hope I can be positive, I won't say anything that makes me look like a bad person. I'm not a bad person, I was just smashed with her comment to me and I became angry and hateful.
I'm having a hard time planning what to say. RESISTANCE ~~~
Oh well, it won't matter in a few weeks and she's retired..............and I'll never do therapy again!!!! That's a promise.......
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:860735
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/860735.html