Posted by Dinah on October 22, 2008, at 21:52:22
In reply to Re: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Therapy Today » Dinah, posted by happyflower on October 22, 2008, at 21:43:11
A cynic!!
No, I'm not actually a cynic. I don't actually think it's all that bad for neurosis to call neurosis. The trick is in seeing it, recognizing other factors, then remembering it when you get angry or frustrated. Remembering that the things you hate most about your spouse are also the things you love most.
A lot of people do marry in delusion. I think that's a very bad thing. We all like to have illusions in our life. I have mine as well. But there come moments when it's important to put those illusions aside and take a good hard look at what *is*. Quit the play and be real. Before marriage is definitely one of those times. To me the most truly romantic marriages are ones that are entered with no illusions and with eyes wide open.
Then after those moments, it's ok to reenter the illusion. What's life like without illusions? As long as you realize back in the back of your mind what they are.
I do that a lot with my therapy. I don't know if you've seen it. But from session to session I believe my therapist really cares about me. And he does, at the moment. I also know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that he sees me two hours in the many hours of his week. That he cares for me in those two hours, would be very sad to lose me, and wants what's best for me while at the same time he rarely thinks of me out of session, and if he needs to abandon or hurt me because of his family, he will. Not without regret or pain, but he will.
But as long as those things are in the back of my mind, there's no reason to mess up my day to day life with them.
poster:Dinah
thread:858859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858876.html