Posted by JouezMoi on October 22, 2008, at 17:50:06
In reply to Re: How do you know if you're OK or not » JouezMoi, posted by raisinb on October 22, 2008, at 13:12:07
Thank you all of you for your support, experiences and advice. I do have trouble opening up. It has always been that way from small. I always hid pain, kept smiling and played the 'star'. Small wonder I started having anxiety attackes when I was 8 yrs old and I hid that very well, also.
This is also the first time I posted something personal .. about me .. on Babble, after lurking for well over a year. I hide myself very well (smile).
I sometimes wish I could breakdown totally so that people would believe me, but my T told me I was probably incapable of that ... "My brain won't let me" she said, "I would probably have a breakdown for a minute and then my brain would say to 'Stop that nonsense'" she added. My pdoc said if I were going to have one, I would have had one already. Meanwhile, I feel like I am holding together with the last of my strength.
This is also the first time in decades that I am off all meds, including alcohol. So, there is so numbing, no artificial assistance. This is it. It is hard, but as you all said, I will try to keep focussing on positives, and accepting that pain is part of life, but suffering is a choice (I like that one).
Thanks all.
poster:JouezMoi
thread:858642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858790.html