Posted by rskontos on October 22, 2008, at 12:04:19
In reply to Re: Thanks for sharing...Morgan, posted by Morgan79 on October 21, 2008, at 17:18:21
Morgan,
I understand the lack of a mother and grandmother. my mother was well she was sick and cruel and should not have children. I have been a better mother I hope. Well I know I have. Anyway, I know that unreal feeling. I don't think he was waiting for that. i hope and let's give him the benefit of the doubt that it just happened. But it was up to him as the therapist to set the boundaries and leave them there.
You see, you were the vulnerable one in this situation. He was not. He was the professional one who no matter his feelings should not acted upon them because no matter it was not good for you. The eventual outcome is shaky at best and can be damaging at worse.
I mean I think what the true question is:
No matter the situation, married or unmarried, can anything ever come out of a relationship between therapist and therapee that doesn't harm the patient that came to the therapist for healing and safety from something already damaging in their background when the therapist allows a cross of boundaries he/she knows should not ethnically be crossed? Now maybe, and only maybe, if therapy is done and over with termination behind something might and only then might be possible. But in the end can anything beneficial come from a crossing of the boundaries such as this?
I don't think so but I don't know for sure. I am no expert this is only my opinion.
I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to understand that he should have made you stronger that is a goal of therapy and it is effect of therapy a person will depend on their therapist but it is the therapist's job to help steer them at some good point to stand on their own in a safe manner. With good safe boundaries. Your T just crossed them and before you were strong enough to deal with this in a manner that would not leave you unharmed. This is I think why boundaries are very important early on.
Anyway, I am sorry you are hurt. You deserve peace. I am sorry you miss him but of course you do. As you said you depend on him. He became an important figure in your life. I hope you get some comfort from us here at B abble.
I hope you seek another therapist to help you from the hazy unclear position he put you in. I am not sure you can do this alone.
Best wishes, and be good to yourself during this time. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you are like most of us here, it is too easy to be hard on yourself versus anyone else.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:858382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858727.html