Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2008, at 9:36:20
In reply to Re: My T story, posted by Morgan79 on October 20, 2008, at 9:08:32
If it's ok, can I check to make sure I totally understand this?
He was your therapist for eighteen months, and he's a faculty member (department chair) at the university where you go to school?
You're quite a bit younger than he is, and he believes you have father issues?
He had sex with you, took you out of town, and lied about your relationship to his friends and colleagues? Did he sleep with you in session? I have heard of therapists who billed their clients or their clients' insurance agency for intimate personal relationships.
I'm assuming he's not married, since he was open enough about taking you to Hawaii.
I really am glad you're here, and I want to be supportive to you. I'm sure you can see that anyone hearing your story might be concerned for you? If one of your friends told you the same story (perhaps before you started seeing this therapist) what would you say to her? The board is full of these stories, and the person that seems to get hurt is the client.
The position a therapist holds to a client is not one of peers. The position a faculty member holds to a student is not one of peers. I totally understand how you feel. But I don't understand why your therapist finds it desirable to choose a mate from those he has power over, both literally and emotionally.
I don't know which society he's a member of. Some have the two year rule, some have a once a client always a client rule. He might not be willing to jeopardize his standing in the community even after two years.
But in any case, it seems like a good idea emotionally to take the break. It can't fun to be in a relationship where the other person is forced to hide you from sight. And in those two years, you will be in more of a peer relationship to him. It will be interesting to see how he'll respond to that on an emotional level. When do you graduate?
I very much respect you for choosing to take that two year break. And if he's free to do so under university and licensing rules, I hope he will come in two years and approach you openly for a relationship. I think you've done a very healthy thing for yourself.
poster:Dinah
thread:858382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858391.html