Posted by stellabystarlight on October 13, 2008, at 19:34:05
In reply to Re: just for fun » Stellabystarlight, posted by twinleaf on October 12, 2008, at 13:29:00
Hi Twinleaf,
I'm so glad to see you posting again. I glean a lot of valuable information from your posts...and you don't charge! I swear I would pay you double what I'm paying my T if you were a therapist in my town. So keep posting, please!
I'll keep my post short here and continue with a new thread later so that I don't impose on Turtle's thread.
Yes, my therapist, I'll call him Peter (from Peter Pan), well...Peter and I are definitely engaged and passionate with each other. Maybe I should call him Captain Hook, since I feel like an imprisoned Wendy right now. It's not always harmonious, but Peter is able to take me back to both painful and beautiful places in my past that no one has, and he has enabled me to get in touch with some of my authentic self again. And this has been good and bad, but I'm learning about myself and slowly changing for the better through him.
I think every therapy pair is unique and has different needs, but our "dangerously" strong connection is what drives my therapeutic relationship with Peter. I'm sure we've crossed, jumped, and skipped boundaries left and right, but it's worked for us so far. I think the boundaries can be fluid and adjusted to each therapy pair as long as the relationship is working towards growth.
We do experience a lot of warmth and caring much of the time and this has enabled me to trust him. I definitely believe that mutual strong positive feelings are crucial in growth, but the amount needed is different for everybody. In my case, I require a boat load it seems! I have noticed the most amount of growth in myself when he is seen and revealed through a mutual authentic exchange. My "knowing him" has allowed me to have him inside me, making me feel calmer and whole at times. I've been doing much less "black and white" thinking which has helped me to repair relationships instead of abandoning them. You seem to have an intense relationship with your T as well, and I'm happy to hear that you feel that he is good "FOR YOU." It's wonderful when you've found a good fit. I only know you through your posts, but you seem very well adjusted so you must be in a good therapeutic relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong about you seemimg "very well adjusted"...I might be transferencing! LOL!
One of the things that I find amazing about our relationship is how we've been able to strengthen the bond through repair of our ruptures. So I've been thinking maybe I'm not BPD, but now we're going through a tough rupture about money of all things. Maybe I'm being tested in a live version of the "trust/money game" from the BPD research article in the Science Magazine. I hope we can repair this too...I'll post about it later.
Thanks for replying and keep posting!
Stellabystarlight
poster:stellabystarlight
thread:856810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857273.html