Posted by lucie lu on October 3, 2008, at 16:25:37
In reply to T's on vacation and I'm hating my attachment!, posted by FindingMyDesire on October 2, 2008, at 23:21:54
FMD,
I'm really sorry to hear that your T is gone when you have so much going on in your life. It's great that you have a successful and loving relationship with your partner. And congrats on your marriage! But no matter how good any real-life partnership is, it is between RL peers, each with their own needs, wants, etc. The thing about your T is that she is there for you, and you alone. I can certainly see why you'd be in such need for her now, because she could see what all these things mean to you without having any stake of her own in the outcomes other than your happiness. I would want her too, very much, under the circumstances.
About the sexual desire for her (I think I can extrapolate since I am straight and my T is a man), I'm wondering if your recent increase in desire for her isn't really more about love than sex. Your fantasies - you are so honest and candid, you must be a great client! - say more about love and intimacy than sex as such. Passion can arise from intense emotion as much as physical need. What I hear is your strong desire to be as close as one can be to another person, one who knows you and cares about you in a profound way. We all need that, and sometimes more than others. Although we may experience such a desire as sexual, probably because of its emotional intensity, that may be because sex is one of the principal ways our culture finds it acceptable to express intimacy. So I think that your longings for her may reflect your heightened need for her to be there with you, emotionally and intimately, at very stressful time in your life.
It's a poor substitute but...
(((((((((((((Finding My Desire)))))))))))))))
Love, Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:855379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855565.html