Posted by lucie lu on October 1, 2008, at 20:55:00
In reply to Suggestions needed. Failing therapy with a big F, posted by Looney Tunes on September 29, 2008, at 19:36:20
Hi LT,
I can't really add much to what other posters have said, except to weigh in on the issue because my first year in therapy was pretty much as you describe. I would get so frustrated not knowing what to say. It wasn't that I was consciously holding anything back, it was just a level of openness and honesty that I was not familiar with and didn't know how to reach. My T even fell asleep on me twice. We really weren't relating much then, I was just going to see him. Big difference.
Did you ever read In Session? There is a part where one woman notes that there is a point where you "have to ante up" to get anywhere in therapy. I think that's true. Maybe a place to start would be to write down to yourself all the things you'd like LEAST to tell another person. Then see if any one of those could be somehow introduced into your sessions, even if only a tad. I have found in general that the things I want least to talk about are actually the things I most need to talk about and should be talking about. This exercise might lead into journaling, although I personally only really made use of it after I'd decided to "ante up." My journal entries prior to that were pretty much like my sessions. Later on, when I was really wading through a lot of confusing things, I would journal a lot just to get my jumbled thoughts down. These I frequently would print out and take to my sessions. I found that one way to say things I absolutely could not get out of my mouth any other way.
Two or three times a week is a pretty big commitment, and it is possible that this is not the right time or the right T. But maybe if you try to "ante up" you'll have a better idea of where you stand.
Don't be discouraged. From what I've seen on babble you are putting in a lot of effort in trying to learn about yourself - which is really great. You are thoughful. You are helpful to others and seem able to use help from others as well. It just takes time to find the ways in which the therapeutic process can work best for you. So hang in there, LT, I know you'll make it :)
Best,
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:854830
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855182.html