Posted by onceupon on September 25, 2008, at 22:31:29
In reply to Re: Self Harm (triggers) » onceupon, posted by JayMac on September 25, 2008, at 12:02:24
"I do harm myself, which is hard to say."
It took me a long time to be able to type it, let alone say it outloud.
"I like seeing my own blood. I enjoy the feeling. I especially enjoy the relief. This is something I've done on and off for years. I don't even know that I want to stop. It relieves my emotional pain."
It does work remarkably effectively, doesn't it?
"People can more easily speak of their pain, anxiety, depression, but rarely do people speak about how they express their pain, whether it's self harm in the form of cutting or self harm in the form of an eating disorder, or reckless driving, or co-dependent relationships, or drug addiction, or not nourishing our bodies the way we should, or alcohol addiction, or denying our spiritual selves, the list goes on and on."
I wonder if this is because it seems as if we *should* (dangerous word) have control over how we express pain. I think people can accept, to a degree, that the root of depression and anxiety are not entirely within individuals. But how we go about coping with depression and anxiety are presumed to be up to us - why would we seem to make things more difficult for ourselves? And I'm not saying that we do any of this to make things more difficult, just that that's maybe how it's perceived by others, hence the shame that comes with trying to discuss self-injury or other self-destructive behaviors.
"Yes, I am a relatively high functioning individual, but that's not to say I don't have deep, underlying pain that manifests itself on and within my body and my mind. Sometimes it's the people you least expect to do something, are the very ones that do it. Like many others, I know how to act like everything is ok, like everything is calm, like everything is great."
Ditto. And what a toll that acting can take, huh?
"I don't mean to pour out my negativity on this post. I do mean to express real concern for myself and for others who need the encouragement to speak out against and stop their self harming behavior."I honestly didn't notice much negativity. Just you working to tell your story.
"The first time I spoke with my T on the phone, I told her why I was wanting help; she told me: "You don't have to go through this alone. You don't have to have all the answers. There are perfectly good reasons for why you do the things you do.""What a perfect response :) I breathed a sigh of relief just reading it.
poster:onceupon
thread:853648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854123.html