Posted by Amanda29 on September 25, 2008, at 18:34:50
In reply to T is ignoring me...but I guess I deserve it., posted by Amanda29 on September 23, 2008, at 18:20:15
I Went to therapy today and we talked about how I resist things. He suggests things for me to do to help me "grow" and I am quick to dismiss them. He isnt the only one I do this with...everyone in my life I do this with...but he is trying to help me and I keep shoving his ideas away..because I AM SCARED. i told him I am scared to grow...(and I know that is why people go to therapy...but I am scared and I dont know what to do to fix it beacuse I am almost numb I dont know what to do ..my anxiety is so strong...(and I cannot use drugs because I abuse them...so I am stuck.
I told him I think I have oppositional defiant disorder...I just fit the bill so perfectly..( not that I want that) but I am good at recognizing things...I dont want him to let me go because I get to the point where I resist so much that he runs out of things to do to help me...and I know it could lead to that. He looked up the psycological definition of resistance..and it sait that it can leavd to termination...I cannot have that.
What do people like me do..they resist the therapist's attempts to help...the therapist lets them go...they go to a new one..who lets them go..and they are on their own again....wandering around without the help they need because EVERY THERAPIST IS TURNING THEM DOWN....I am not trying to RESIST EVERYONE...it is just happening. I dont do it on purpose.
Im so messed up...and confused.
poster:Amanda29
thread:853675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854076.html