Posted by JayMac on September 19, 2008, at 14:17:46
In reply to dual relationship with therapist?, posted by JayJ on September 18, 2008, at 16:50:20
A few weeks ago, I spoke with my T about dual relationships. At the time, I was desperate to form a stronger connection with her. I want(ed) to know her inside and out.
I asked her: Why can't we have a relationship outside your office?
To paraphrase, she said: Because that sort of relationship requires that both parties meet each other's needs. Having a relationship with me would require that you meet some of my own needs. You would lose your therapist. The beauty of the relationship that we have now is that I can meet your needs, and you don't have to worry about meeting mine.
I then asked: That makes sense, but what about after therapy, can we have a relationship outside the office then? (By the way, I asked because we have a lot of similar interests, there's a chance I may attend the school where she teaches, plus I can't imagine working with her for so much time, and not having a reciprocal relationship after therapy.)
Basically, she said: I don't know. There is no way to know that right now. But for right now, our relationship in here is real (I had previously expressed concerned that our relationship feels to me to be too one-sided and unreal) and this is all a part of the process. I'm a real person in this very real setting. Most importantly, I'm here to meet your needs.
I was/am impressed with her response. It was hard to swallow at first, but from her perspective and mine, I understand her stance. She said she is protecting me. She said that the ethics revolving dual relationships is to protect the patient.
Everything the therapist does should help the patient AND protect the patient from harm.
poster:JayMac
thread:852711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852940.html