Posted by Dinah on September 9, 2008, at 16:51:26
In reply to Re: My therapist made me cry » Dinah, posted by lucie lu on September 9, 2008, at 15:07:54
He heard what I was saying, but he saw more clearly than I did that I was protecting myself from my feelings by shutting them off. By getting all weirdly detached. That I wasn't really as fine as I felt, but that I didn't feel safe enough to feel bad.
Or as was discussed on this thread (or maybe the last one), I was in a bubble. A nice protective bubble that I needed to be in, but that I couldn't maintain indefinitely.
I'd told him about the word a friend's son had coined for enjoyable evacuations that combined fun and evacuations and didn't lead to anything awful - "hurrication". I think he used the word deliberately at the end.
The problem is that he was right. As soon as he gave me permission to step outside the bubble and engage with the world again, all the feelings I hadn't been feeling bubbled up. Anger at the disruption as well as with all the things at home I was happy to escape, the intense anxiety of not knowing, the stress of trying to keep the peace and be the calm center of the family.
I knew I felt detached and weird, and maybe I liked it. But now I feel like me again.
He really does know me, better than I know myself sometimes. He also really knows me enough to know how much push I need, without pushing me too far. He *saw* the weirdness I was feeling. He called me out of it.
I dunno. Maybe I'm giving him too much credit.
poster:Dinah
thread:850096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/851206.html