Posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 16:07:08
In reply to Re: Borderline Personality Disorder, posted by Tee3 on May 27, 2008, at 21:33:32
> I have BPD, major depressive disorder and dysthymia. I know exactly how you felt when you wrote and posted. I've been in therapy for 20+ years and see only a small improvement in my BPD. I, too, am a failure. Careers ruined, grad education ruined, family relationships ruined, no friends ... but my adult children and I have reconciled; I have grandchildren. I feel that the only contribution my life has made is the kids. I created life and have reared 2 kids while breaking a cycle of abuse. Unfortunately, I think the 32 y.o. is developing BPD; she also has depression.
> The only reason that I have not committed suicide is that I don't want to leave a legacy of guilt and grief for the kids. Eventually, it'll happen, but when my body is as physically broken as I am mentally and emotionally. I'm looking forward to it.Write your way out of it, honey. Write until the blood-sucking cows come home, damn it, write until your life's juices want to flow again, because there IS MORE to life than this, you know there is, you feel it sometimes or you wouldn't be here now. Thank god your grandchildren don't have a legacy of suicide. It will happen when it is supposed to happen, and wouldn't it be ironic if it happened when you really didn't want it to?
That's what I think in the back of my mind there is a little door, a space marked "CREATIVITY" .. that is the door to my release.
poster:susan47
thread:829152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/848821.html