Posted by Partlycloudy on August 14, 2008, at 18:22:23
In reply to Re: And today's session, posted by Lemonaide on August 14, 2008, at 16:41:51
Yeah. Even though I came into this marriage after the children were grown, I can now see, by having this 26 year old woman living with us, but who is emotionally about 14; that hearing anything remotely like "advice" or "suggestions" from me just comes across as the horrible step mother being judgmental. The fact is, she keeps screwing things up, and I act as a type of mirror to her. She's uncomfortable with what I reflect back to her, and then she retreats, and isolates herself. When I came back from my out of town trip, she pointedly ignored me completely, not even noticing that I was in the room. That really hurt, but I kept telling myself, "14 years old. She acts like she's 14 old. She's not acting like a mature, 26 year old woman."
This morning there was a handwritten apology from her to us both. Still an awkward situation, but she is trying really hard at the moment. I even cooked us a family dinner this evening. I haven't even remotely felt like doing such a thing for a long time.
(It's so nice to be able to talk with you again, Lemonaide.)
poster:Partlycloudy
thread:845883
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/846249.html