Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 16:44:56
In reply to Re: everyone's different....... » Hermitian, posted by fleeting flutterby on August 11, 2008, at 16:25:00
Maybe the problem isn't that she's thinking about her therapist but that that she's feeling guilty about the thoughts?
Part of how therapy can help is to teach people to accept that their thoughts and feelings aren't good or bad. They just are.
Her answer may not come from ceasing to desire her therapist. Her answer may come from accepting that she desires her therapist, accepting that that desire doesn't change the facts of the situation, and accepting that she can desire her therapist and have a good life. Learning to accept that can help her learn to accept many things, feelings and situations. If her response to feeling intense emotions is to hurt herself, the answer might not be to stop feeling the intense emotions, but to learn to live with them? Unless this is the only area in her life where she feels intense emotions.
I didn't even start therapy with my therapist for five years, except that I learned to trust him. In those five years, I probably obsessed a whole lot. I probably acted out a whole lot. I got much worse. My world was being shaken up. I was seeing what I was doing with my life. My therapist was pointing out that the sky was not blue, and clouds were not white.
Everyone is different. Some people may not enter therapy in the same place I did. Some people may not react in the same way I did. But for me, this process was necessary. It had taken me thirty odd years to build up the problems. It took a while to take it apart and put it back together again.
poster:Dinah
thread:845453
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845558.html