Posted by raisinb on May 23, 2008, at 10:23:29
In reply to Re: had another bad one last night » raisinb, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2008, at 9:32:17
What would the negative voice say? Whew...
It would say:
--She's made me worse, not better.
--She's meeting her own needs in sessions, not mine (which is why she gets emotional or withdraws); her persuading me to stay is about her ego, her wanting to do this big, intense therapy, not what is best for me
--She can't meet my needs, but is not honest enough with herself or me to admit it, so she continues to defend a damaging therapeutic relationship
--She abandoned me when I needed her most, more than once
--If my goal is to learn to love and accept myself, she's not helping by rejecting me and being so inconsistent
--She denies my perception of her emotional inconsistency, not because I'm not right, but because she is defensive and/or she doesn't think I have the right to expect more
--She doesn't care enough about me to really do what will make this work
--She will never understand me--we are too different
--I had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago and could have died partly because of her
--My attachment to her--the fact that I keep returning to her--is part of me hating myself and submitting myself to emotional punishment
--We'll never work through this stuff; it keeps coming up over and over. I remember having this same argument over a year ago.
--I want her punished for the pain she has caused me and I can never cause her to hurt as much as I do.
--Admittedly, I haven't been successful in sustaining a romantic relationship, but all my other relationships are fine--going very well, in fact--so how can this be all me?
Many of these might be incompletely true or downright wrong, but that is how the negative part of me feels.
> That dream sounds angry to me. If there is an internal dialogue going on about whether your therapist was good for you or bad for you, what would the negative voice say? Could your dreams be trying to tell you something you don't want to hear?
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> It doesn't mean in the end you have to agree with the dreams. I don't always find that my subconscious trying to communicate with me in dreams necessarily has the *right* answer, or is any wiser than waking conscious me. Sometimes it's just the opposite. But I generally find acknowledgment helpful.
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poster:raisinb
thread:830468
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/830679.html