Posted by Daisym on May 23, 2008, at 0:43:33
In reply to dream interpretation needed, posted by raisinb on May 22, 2008, at 9:52:37
I think this is an anxiety dream, and it might be about your inner truth - a truth you might not really want to believe yet.
**In the dream, I went to therapy, but to my therapist's house, not her office. She lived in a frame house off near a coast, and there was a big lighthouse right outside her door.
I'll take this to mean that therapy has many (perhaps too many) personal elements from your therapist. It is her house - not her office - not "your" space. The lighthouse (guidance) is outside of her house...outside of your therapy.
**I'd thought I'd have an individual session with her, but inside there was a big circle of people and I realized it was group therapy. During the session, a forceful, loud man stood up and started telling me what to do and what was wrong with me. I didn't know this man's face, but his first name happens to be both the name of my therapist's husband and the name of the therapist I saw when she had to go on maternity leave a couple of years ago. His manner of speaking (lots of sentences starting, "you need to...") was very much like a good friend of mine who can be overbearing and tells me what to do to fix my problems, without knowing much about them.
It sounds like therapy is not what you've come to expect - or wish you had. A big circle of people could be the different aspects of you...or of your therapist. Do you experience her one way sometimes and another way, other times? I'm not sure about the loud man - except that it speaks to enmeshment - her husband (her real partner instead of you - someone who "deserves" her time? Or demands it; another therapist could be her shadow side and the friend might be her bossy side or your perception of her acting more like friend than a therapist. The most interesting line here, "to fix my problems, without knowing much about them" - sounds like therapy isn't deep enough, clear enough or after all this time, she still doesn't understand at least some aspect of you.
**He was going on and on, and I cut him off. I said, "X, you are just a flawed human being just like everyone else here, nobody knows more than anyone else, all of you have issues, and I am not going to just take this from you and trust your advice." I think that shut him up.
Tell me how you really feel about your therapist right now - Shut him up? Or another thought - your inner critic who keeps telling you that you NEED therapy - are you arguing with yourself here?
**Later, I came back to see if I could have an individual session with my therapist. Her sister or cousin opened the door; my therapist was in the background on the phone with her husband. When she came to the door, I told her I wanted a session in the lighthouse. She said that she could get me in in the next couple of days, but that the lighthouse was only open in the fall, when the light came in just the right way.
So now your therapist has gate keepers that you have to go through to get to her - she is busy with her "real partner" again. (I'm curious why her husband is so intertwined in this dream.) You want her wisdom (an individual session) but it isn't available except at a specific times - which sounds like you are asking for her to be at her best as your therapist but she can't be right now - she is in a different place (her home) and won't be the wisdom you need for awhile. Fall is often a symbol for dying - especially anxiety around dying. It might be that she can't be who you need until the therapy (or you) are in critical need and then she pulls it out at that last minute.
To me, overall, it seems like you are really arguing with yourself about therapy and its effectiveness and whether you need it or not -- perhaps you only need it if you are suicidal?
Just my two cents, fwiw.
poster:Daisym
thread:830468
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/830634.html