Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2008, at 20:36:01
In reply to I am shaking, in total shock, I feel sick* trigger, posted by Happyflower on May 20, 2008, at 14:19:27
I find that it's almost harder to deal with the death of those I have negative or ambivalent feelings about. I didn't express that well, I don't think. It's as if on some level I fear that I wished them dead. Or that at least I didn't wish them alive.
A week before his daughter's wedding...
That poor girl.
It's ok if you hated him, or were angry with him, or even wished him bad fortune. Nothing you wished had any effect on him. It's ok to have held a grudge when he was already dead.
Giving up grudges and anger is more about us than them. Your anger had no effect on him. It couldn't hurt him. If you want to keep it even now, you can. If you want to let it go, let it go for yourself not because you feel guilty.
Or I could be projecting and be totally off the mark. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:830138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/830210.html