Posted by DAisym on April 30, 2008, at 20:51:54
In reply to Re: living for yourself, posted by I need a hug on April 30, 2008, at 19:46:52
I guess it might be semantics but I'd say that being yourself is different than living for yourself. And the same goes with self-worth. I struggle all the time with the concept that I matter because I breathe, not because of the things I do. But the things I do matter, because I choose to do them. And some of these things are trivial - like buying shoes - but they matter because they make me happy. And some are more important - like taking care of my children or doing my best at my job. Or voting. And I think if we live doing pretty much what we want to do, because it makes us happy (and yes, making other people happy can make us happy) than that is the point. You don't have to solve world hunger or save children for your activities to be deemed important.
I think we often get hung up on how big of a splash our pebble makes in the pond of life. But if we can remember that the ripples touch many things, and often unexpected things, then who are we to say that we haven't made a difference? So our being here - just living - is the point.
Philosophically, I really get this. In practice, I'm terrified to stop doing the "right" things or the "nice" things, because then I'm afraid I won't matter anymore, to any one. It is a frequent topic of therapy - am I more than what I can do for you?
poster:DAisym
thread:826425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/826493.html