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Re: I wanted to go in, he can't see me.

Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2008, at 6:59:02

In reply to Re: I wanted to go in, he can't see me. » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on April 17, 2008, at 3:32:08

> I'm not going to close that wall.

That's really mature of you. More mature than I am yet. Maybe the dichotomy isn't as great as you think? You clearly accomplish your tasks despite how you feel. That shows courage and self control.

And in therapy you're also showing courage and self control. In that you're going to accomplish what you need to despite how you feel. Courage doesn't mean not being afraid.

(Have I ever told you the bravest thing I ever saw? I had a sighthound who in the way of some sighthounds was very cautious. When we met strange dogs on walks, he generally very elegantly but quickly moved behind me. I'm sure he looked very regal and cool doing it, but I could see him tremble. One day I was sitting with my darling little toy dog. The sighthound was also fond of her. And a rolicking Irish setter came up to say hi. He didn't mean any harm of course. But to the sighthound he was a scary monster come to hurt this little dog who couldn't protect herself. I apparently was perfectly capable of protecting both myself and him. He stood up and placed himself between the Irish setter and the little dog and raised his hackles. He didn't attack or show agression. He just stood between them and made clear that to get to her, the poor happy dog would have had to get through him. It noticed the message and realized it wasn't a good time to visit and cheerfully took off. And the sighthound collapsed beside me, exhausted from his heroism. And that was the most courageous thing I've ever seen in my life.)

I'd have taken the before or after hours appointment. And have on occasion. My therapist has never seemed to mind. And as he always says, he wouldn't have offered if he hadn't meant it. He says my only job is deciding if I wish to accept.

 

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