Posted by Happyflower on April 16, 2008, at 9:21:40
I think I might have figured out why I am somewhat resisting in therapy going into the deep parts now.
My T and I have become very close and that scares me. I think I want him to be my dad and it almost seems like he might be feeling I am like a daughter but I could be imagining this too.But this is too much for me, and now I am retreating somewhat. Maybe because I don't want him to know what I have been through, because I am worried about him and the effects it could have on him. or it could be that I am having trouble telling him or letting him go there with me because I care about him, so it doesn't feel like telling someone who is totally objective. Plus I he has told me how hard it is for him to go there with clients, even though he needs to. He said it hurts him to see his clients hurting so much.
I know what I am feeling about wanting him to be my dad is probably normal for what I have been through, I am sure he would say that. But I am afraid he will act different towards me if I tell him I feel this way now.Plus intellectually I know he won't ever be my dad, so in the end, it will just hurt no matter what.
For some reason this is so embarrassing to me and I don't know why.
poster:Happyflower
thread:823573
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/823573.html