Posted by Kath on April 2, 2008, at 20:19:56
In reply to Re: Frida - you're in my thoughts » Kath, posted by frida on April 2, 2008, at 13:21:56
Dear Frida,
Do you find you can type about stuff? I'm wondering if you could type some stuff & have a copy yourself & take it to your T & let her read it while you read your copy?
You know, even if you tell her just 'bits', that is SOMETHING! Little bit by little bit. Please be gentle with yourself. I know you feel badly because you can't tell her or answer as much as part of you would like to be able to.
I have an idea Frida. I may be WAY off base, but I wonder about this. It seems to me that when your mother is telling you NOT to talk about it any more, that a 'younger' part of you is hearing that in a way that young children DO hear their parents. The parents are bigger. They're the BOSSES. I strongly suspect that your inner child (of some age; who knows which age) has been, to a large extent, successfully silenced by your mother.
I've done a LOT of inner child work - a lot of it by myself. There are various ways to do it. I strongly suspect that you can make your child feel safe & give her permission to let the adult 'you' speak.
you said:
>...but it makes me feel frustrated because i keep hard things inside and i feel urgency to share or at least share tears but i can't do that either.I believe that is the 'adult' you, who WANTS to speak out - wants to BIGTIME; wants to heal! I think your inner child does NOT feel safe to 'tell'. I mean sh*t - your mother found out & all hell broke loose!!!!! But you are an adult now. The adult you can let the little girl you know that the LG is safe, & that the adult you is going to talk about things & it is OKAY; the LG will be VERY VERY safe & that if the LG is worrying about the mother, the mother will NOT be knowing of this!
LG also does not seem to know that it is perfectly OKAY to cry. (((((((((you & LG)))))))))If this seems to resonate at all for you, and/or if it's something you're interested in 'looking at' I would be glad to give you a couple of different ways you might go further with it. (Keep in mind, you can just 'hear' what I say. You can say NO! You CAN say NO to me!!! lol In fact, I wouldn't even ask if you did what I mentioned! And I wouldn't need you to tell me. I don't want to be pushy. If you (or anyone else) is interested in hearing what's worked for me, please ask! I have mentioned things in other posts, but can't remember which ones.
> thank you for your lovely post , and for seeing something good in me :-)***I certainly do see good in you! And I see someone who is struggling to heal. I would love to see you freed to do it.
> that seems such a healing experience, that you had a counsellor "be" your mom somehow. My T yesterday rubbed my arm and it made me want to cry.
*****yes, it WAS very healing. I am so glad your T rubbed your arm & one day maybe you'll know (on all levels) that it is perfectly okay to cry!
> i ache for those kinds of hugs
>
> thank you for reaching out to me,Dear Frida - I wish I lived close enough to give you massive numbers of hugs!!!!! I'm so sorry for all the pain you've suffered & continue to suffer.
I'm here for you.
luv, Kath
PS - sometimes it's a few days before I check the different boards, so if I don't answer right away don't worry. :-)
poster:Kath
thread:820789
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821266.html