Posted by DAisym on April 2, 2008, at 12:35:56
In reply to Re: Your Therapist's Web Site » DAisym, posted by sunnydays on April 2, 2008, at 10:26:29
***because sometimes it's disconcerting to me to think that there's another part of his life that doesn't include me and where I'm not necessarily the most important part of his life***
Your reply reminded me of one of the more painful parts of this conversation. I said to him that seeing the site reminds me that this is a really time limited endeavor. At some point, we will stop. And his life will go on and not include me, he won't think about me, I have no place or standing in his "real" life. And yet I can't imagine not always loving him and I know I'll never forget him. He said, "but you've always known this. You know that there is an end to therapy - but we aren't there yet. We don't need to worry about it right now."
The thing is - I might have always known this. But it didn't matter when I started, I had no idea that I wouldn't want the ending. The deeper and more attached I get, the more the ending feels like death - inevitable at some point, not preventable, and devasting. So the reminders that he has a family, who will always be part of his life, brings out a jealousy I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
poster:DAisym
thread:821049
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/821188.html