Posted by Abby Cunningham on March 6, 2008, at 18:14:08
In reply to Therapy today hurt me, posted by crushedout on March 4, 2008, at 1:27:11
(((((Crushedout)))))) I normally don't post on this board but your subject caught my eye.
Something similar happened to me. I found out something on the internet regarding one of my T's parents and it was pretty bad. I never mentioned it to her though, just in an email to my pdoc (who is her boss).
Well I think my pdoc forwarded the mail to T and she's been awful to me. (This was after a year of
good relationship, kind, caring). I was blindsided when she started berating me supposedly for something else at my next session, where she had taken a phone call from a client wanting to make an appointment in the middle of my session and talked for 5+ minutes. Naturally I got upset when she talked that way and a whole hour passed while I sobbed my eyes out and I HATE to cry, never cry.I had told her I was thinking of quitting therapy due to this and other things and actually did not make an appointment; she held it open and said to call her if I was coming. I did and when I went in she was cold as ice and terminated me on the spot! I am hurting quite badly, but I know I did nothing wrong! She has issues with her past and it is nothing to do with me. But it still hurts, and badly. I have my pdoc who used to be my therapist but she betrayed me by forwarding emails to T, who is in the same clinic and happens to be T's boss! I empathize with you and hope things turn out better for you!
Abby
> I have been avoiding babble for reasons I don't want to get into at the moment, but right now I have no where else to turn. My therapist hurt me so badly today.
>
> Last week I confessed to her something that I had found about her on the internet, and despite three years together of us talking about stuff like this (including other stuff I have found about her on the net), I have now apparently crossed some line. But all I did was read stuff in the public domain, on the internet--I did nothing to invade her private privacy. And when I told her about it--last week--she reacted very professionally, focusing on what it meant to me and exploring why I did it.
>
> But today, a week later, she was clearly angry at me, and she accused me of what to me are awful things: not respecting her, violating her privacy, and "bulldozing" her (whatever that means). I can totally understand her urging me to not look up the kinds of stuff I did because it interferes with my therapy but I am so upset with her for not dealing with her own feelings about how it AFFECTS HER on her own. She was practically yelling at me. I don't know how to convince you all but I did nothing wrong. And right after therapy I had to go to the hospital to see my family because my aunt almost died and now is in a coma. I just say that because I don't know how to convey what it's like when your whole world is falling down around you and the one consistent person, the one I see as my lifeline, seems to suddenly turn on you. And then you still have to go back out and face that world.
>
> It feels like the ultimate betrayal. My own freakin' therapist.
>
> I composed an email to her saying, "Can you please let me know when you've cooled off or worked out your feelings or whatever you need to do? because i don't want to waste another two hours round trip and $150 to get yelled at and have my feelings ignored. As you so kindly pointed out to me today [she listed my many "life problems" to me in her anger--not in an empathetic way mind you], i have enough other problems to deal with. thanks, [crushed]"
>
> But i didn't send it. I'm so hurt and angry right now I can't bear it. Who do you turn to when your therapist lets you down?
>
> I know I've been absent, and I have no idea what it is going on with my old babbler friends, and i am sure there are many new babblers who don't know me, but I just have no where else to turn.
>
> please help me.
poster:Abby Cunningham
thread:816071
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/816621.html