Posted by annierose on March 5, 2008, at 19:01:11
In reply to Re: more venting, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 5, 2008, at 14:49:54
I'm going to offer a different perspective. Maybe she is just being a human being. She thought about the information you found out about her and decided that it made her feel uncomfortable. So she changed her mind and decided you should no longer gather information about her personal life via the internet. Maybe she asked you in a harsher tone than you expected, and as you said, this is the first time in 3 (?) years she mentioned something.
So this isn't her typical behavior.
I think you need to balance the long term relationship you have built vs. this one incident where you do not see eye to eye.
I'm not saying that she handled this the way you wanted. But don't throw her under the bus just yet. Just like any relationship in real life, this will take time to talk it through. And unlike real life, you will have to wait for the next session and maybe another session after that to finally feel at peace. In order words, part of your pain right now is that you are holding on to your anger. You don't have access to her 24/7. You have to wait until your next session, unless you decide to call.
I have been through my fair share of ruptures. While I'm in the midst of them I doubt the entire relationship. But as we talk and talk and talk it out, we always come to the other side, both learning something new about the other person.
I think you both deserve another session or two to be heard.
poster:annierose
thread:816351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/816431.html