Posted by Bodhisattva on February 1, 2008, at 9:27:56
In reply to Still In Love With My T after Five years/I'm BACK, posted by sassyfrancesca on February 1, 2008, at 7:31:12
> Hi, all of my dear old friends: Happyflower, Phillipa, Muffled, Ladybug, Fallsfall, Gardengirl and B2Chica.....and to new friends I will meet.
>
> I used to post as Allison.
>
> It's a very long story. I went to my t for a church issue (my church of 31 years voted me out of membership after I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.
>
> I fought the system for 18 months to try and prevent the pastor from counseling any more women--in the end (on my birthday), my name was put up on a big screen, followed by the words: Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God.
>I can actually feel my heart rate increase after reading this. Who are they to pass judgment on you? That right is reserved solely for your creator. The creator who knows everything you've been through, knows the sacrifices you have made.
Unbecoming a child of God. ...Fine... then this I propose to you. He has created you in his own image, he has given you the free will in which to do with what he has given you what you will. THESE ARE NOT FREEDOMS YOU BESTOW TO A CHILD. Rest assured, he has created you as a peer.
> My t is an expert in spiritual abuse.
>
> I get the whole picture, etc...he is struggling with himself; he has said: "I am torn, confused, scared and conflicted." We have had MANY conversations about what is going on between us.
>
> The latest thing he said (!): "If I weren't married, I would probably go for it."
>
> He makes me crazy; back and forth.....He is having his cake and eating it too!
>
> An excellent book: Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter (when professionals betray, etc)......no, we haven't had sex.....It is so ironic; I am the client and can act anyway I want (except for flirting, which is my personality), I behave in a refined manner.
>
> HE is the professional and is supposed to behave that way, but if I told you the things he has said and done.......unbelievable.
>
> I realize it is unhealthy for me, but am not ready to leave right now.
>
> A few things (out of 100's) he has said:
>
> You are in my heart and in my head.
> WE find it hard to end the session, WE find it hard to say goodbye.
> If I were to kiss you, do you think it would take away the pain?
>
> To any who remember me, I just started school (psyc.) in the Fall, and recently won a women's scholarship; i was 1 of 10 recipients out of 1,600 applicants in the U.S. and Canada; i was stunned!
>
> I've been published in a psychiatric journal (LOL, no it isn't a case study)
>
> Written my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice to someone who speaks up against injustice)
>
> My poetry website (faith-based), with 13,300 hits.....Elie Wiesel (survivor of Auschwitz) has written to me; I am so humbled and honored.
>
> Okay, that's catching up, I guess.
>
> hugs and Love to all,
>
> Francesca (formerly Allison)Of your situation with your T, all I can say is be careful. It has infinite potential to cause you more pain.
Take care of yourself, and welcome back.
poster:Bodhisattva
thread:810025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/810051.html