Posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 13:19:17
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
i also let out another 'part' of me. one that i've only recently discovered.
i think i kinda knew last fall i was putting things together but over the holidays i really put things together and figured out that there IS one more 'part' inside me. id guess her age at about 12. she talks differently that little girl, but not like teen either. so she's inbetween. however, she mostly manifests herself as total fear. SHE IS the fear, the paralyzing fear that i feel. when i or others want to talk, she comes and opens up the fear and i curl up with her in my head and she releases the fear and darkenss that she holds in order to stop the talking.she told T yesterday, along with telling of the 'camp' story. littleone popped in and out also...boy is she ever getting a stronger voice! she really belts it out nowadays, kinda funny to me now.
but she was kinda glad she got to talk but she doens't ever talk, shes the one that stops the talk. however she has a voice in my head. usually repetative things but.
Anyway, she talked to T. and when i left i hadnn't gone back to me and i didn't know how to switch in fact most of yesterday i struggled with her out. luckily my boss was not here yesterday and didn't know that i was a pre-teen surfing the internet most of the day. when i left office she told T i didn't want to sneak out the back i want to show everyone who i am. so i did i had the biggest sh#t eating grin on my face and walked really tall and pranced out of her office looking back only once! but my driving was scary so i only went a few blocks to the library and got a book listened to music and tried to switch back enough to drive home. that helped.wow tired just writing about this.
so much going on with me these days. sorry i don't write much. just real busy. and sometimes when i switch. sometimes i can't figure out how to post, sometimes i can. and i've been doing a lot of that lately. also just been busy at work.so sorry this so long.
and thank you all for listening...
b2c's (lol)
poster:B2chica
thread:809882
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/809922.html