Posted by TF on December 21, 2007, at 21:49:54
In reply to Re: Umm, stuff that I'm ashamed of., posted by rskontos on December 16, 2007, at 12:32:27
Alright, I feel like I'm starting to lose it again, and I'm in a mood, so I'll post here.
> I have done research on this too. Because the smell disorder was interesting as well. I assume the doctors checked you for this smell disorder and concluded you did not have this right?
>There are conditions, which could cause a person to be malodorous. I've done some research on them and such. It could be a metabolic problem, it could be my diet, it could be hygiene, it could be my sedentary lifestyle, or it could be a problem with my plumbing. It could be all of these things and/or others. When I approached my physician about this, she told me that the only thing that she knew of that could cause a person to smell bad was improper hygiene. I don't think I bothered to explain the research I did. I wasn't really coherent enough to put my thoughts to any kind of lengthy speech at the time, but I think I could do it now.
I'm not sure if my medicaid covers specialists like endocrinologists and gastro doctors. Then again, it covers psychiatrists so why not? In any case, I haven't been tested for any such disorders. They just tell me that the perpetual odor doesn't exist.
I'm sighing here when I say that maybe I'm being a little too general in my thoughts. Sometimes, I guess I might not smell. Right after I've taken a shower or whatever, I probably smell fine.
But (and I realise this is getting to be too much information) I notice when I haven't defecated in more than a day, I'll start to smell. I mean, I'll smell my own odor. It's bothersome to me, and I can only imagine what effect it has on other people. Actually, I got a sampling of that when I was hospitalized three years ago. I couldn't relax at all in the psyche ward, so I couldn't defecate. Then, I started to smell bad. I remember people complaining about the odor clinging to everything, and I heard patients in other rooms vomiting. I even heard one screaming 'I'm going to kill him!'.
> So in the face of not having a smell disorder they concluded it was psychological in nature is this correct?
>I think because I went to a psychiatrist, a bit of bias came into play, and they would naturally try to look at this from a psychiatric point of view. I stated when I started seeing my current doctor, that I think that I have a bad odor all the time. This is because sometimes when I don't smell myself, other people seem to. So I really don't know what to think, and when. I just made a very general statement, so it's understandable how the term 'fixed belief' came about. It's not necessarily false all the time, it just cannot be moved or altered.
I get mixed signals like that all the time.
A little off topic here, but I thought to mention this. Many people don't seem to like me. They always seem happy to see the end of me. I remember my coworker at an internship at an office practically lit up when I told her it was my last day. And my last therapist couldn't stop smiling as he was saying goodbye to me. I don't know, it could be anything that they don't like about me. My personality. Some people find me creepy, or stupid, or lazy, or whatever else.
> And you still believing that you smell they concluded you have the fixed belief.
>I think it's that I stated I always smell, which probably isn't true all the time. But it seems to be a lot of the time. More often than I'd like it to be, anyway. The general statement, and lack of logical explaination probably caused that term to come about, like I said.
> I have a VERY sensitive sense of smell. But for me it seems to be more of an artificial or man made. Perfumes will make me gag. I don't mind a man's natural smell. But I hate certain deodorants. They smell too manufacturered. I will be triggered by certain smells but love the smell of gasoline. I love the smell of fire or leaves burning. So to label things "Smell" it is a preference of each individual I believe.
>
I tend to shy away from scented deodorants and perfume. Usually I get worse reactions from people when I tried those things, so yeah, not an option.> So after reading all your posts and the replies I think IMHO that you are more afraid of maybe rejection of others than actually smelling. I could be wrong. But you know how you can take a fragrance and 10 people and out of those 10 people you won't find a major in that they all like the fragance or hate it. It is just preference of what is a good smell and what is bad. I love the smell of bleach it smells clean to me but to some it is overpowering. And pinesol some think is smells clean some think it is bad. So to label your particular body smell is bad well I think if we all got together some of us on babble would find you to smell good naturally and some not. European countries don't wash like us Americans we wash the natural sense of people away. Not everyone likes to do that. Some people prefer a natural body scent to a perfumed one.
>I am afraid of rejection, definitely. The fear of having a bad odor comes from that, because people generally don't like to deal with people who smell bad. And in the past, when I have smelled, I get those reactions, and it just sticks in my mind, and makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.
> I rest my case with I think you are just being very hard on yourself as alot of us on babble are because we fear people in general. I am scared to death of them and would prefer to hide. So while I understand please just go easy and relax alittle.
>Right now I can't relax. Maybe it's something about fridays now. I don't know. A breakdown every friday.
> And let us know if you take Bodhi up on his experiment as I too laughed at that one. Take care and try to be a little kinder to yourself.
>While I appreciate the humor, there's just no way I'm going to do that.
poster:TF
thread:800487
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801985.html