Posted by JoniS on December 15, 2007, at 14:27:44
. . . for my T's upcoming sebatical? Of course, I am sure that he will have some thoughts on this, and we will talk openly, but I wondered if anyone who's been through it (or not) could give me some input. My T is supposed to be gone Jan - March so I probably have 1 or 2 sessions left with him. I am feeling very emotional, very very sad, and lonely. I will tell him all of this of course, but what else do I need to cover? I am sure that we will talk about the "terms" of our contact during that time. He said he could still see me but not every week. I dont want to be the "exception" client who he needs to basically freese-frame his sebatical for so that I can be taken care of. How would that be a sebatical? I want to try to talk by phone 1 or 2 times a month if I can handle that.
I am back once again to feeling so much love for him, and, as usual, not much desire for anyone or anything else. I know this is some pretty heavy idealistic transference and I'm pretty frustrated in it. I want to learn from it, what does it mean... if it's unmet needs, how can I get them met in a healthy way and move on to reality and find a way to enjoy life???
Sometimes the feelings are not quite as intense as this, but because of the timing, and because this week I had a major breast cancer scare and I talked to him about it, my feelings and desires for him became more intense. He told me to call him after I saw the specialist this week, and when I did he he expressed how sorry he was for what I'd been going through and told me he loved me and cared about me. That was the first time he used the L word. We've been working together for 4.5 years, and only once before he said that he cares deeply and profoundly about me. I know the love that he has is actually deep care for a client and nothing romantic or desirous (like I feel) but it felt so good to hear that from him.
How am I going to handle this separation? right now I'm coping by keeping my feelings pushed down so I don't feel. Can I do that for 3 months? I guess if that works, that is what I'll have to do.
Joni
poster:JoniS
thread:801010
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801010.html