Posted by lovelorn on December 10, 2007, at 19:27:28
In reply to How does your therapy work, posted by john79 on December 10, 2007, at 12:10:43
>Can you give me an impression on how your therapy works, who is talking the most, does he/she give advice, is he/she interested in your hobbies, general interests etc.
With my T, it is sort of an unwritten rule that I do most of the talking. Right at the beginning of session she sits and places a little pillow at her side (curious observation of mine) and is quiet and waits for me to begin with what I want to say. I usually go in with some thing or some emotion that is bothering me and I talk about it. She doesn't ask about my hobbies and general interests specifically. She may ask about them in the context of what we may be talking about that day if it fits in with whatever I am dealing with.
She gives advice if I specifically ask for it, but mostly her advice comes through some psychological insight or comment she may have in regards to the issue or emotion I am dealing with as we are talking and as she may ask a question or help me (in her words)in understanding what I may be experiencing. She is careful to more lead me to the advice I need, the answers I need for myself rather than trying to impose advice and answers on me.
She almost never talks about herself and, by her manner, she doesn't invite that we talk about her in any personal way either. And yet, while we are in that room and doing the therapy it feels like I am with the most compassionate and understanding friend ever. It's all one sided, but somehow it doesn't feel all one sided. This re inforces the fact that I am there to talk about me and what's going on with me and that it is me that is supposed to do most of the talking and revealing even when I may not always feel I have something to say. She sits quietly until I do say something or picks up something from what I have been saying to explore further. It's her style and it has worked well for me so far.
And it's interesting too that she works in the same building that I work, so sometimes I even see her in the lady's bathroom or in the halls. And while she will give me a warm smile and we say hello, she maintains the boundaries by her manner, which makes me maintain my boundaries too, that this is a very specific kind of relationship limited to the time we spend in her room. There is a little part of me that would like to know more about her, and yet I appreciate that we have that boundary there and I understand the importance of it. Who knows, maybe near the end of therapy we might be able to share a bit more with eachother or at least I would like to give her a nice hug in appreciation for all she's helped me. We will see when that time comes.
poster:lovelorn
thread:799374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800023.html