Posted by antigua3 on December 10, 2007, at 6:35:27
In reply to evil bad horrible awful disgusting unworthy, posted by littleone on December 10, 2007, at 1:10:30
First of all, you are NOT all those terrible things you said. You are hurting, very badly, and are trying to learn how to cope. That you are trying is a huge step.
My mother and I have a relationship that as long as I tell her or indicate to her that I'm fine, then she's wonderful to be around. But if I let slip that I'm not feeling up to par, she goes crazy.
for me, I won't let her see the parts that are angry at her for not protecting me when I'm younger, but I'm so afraid of losing her approval. When I was little, I had to be the "good girl" always because I was afraid that she wouldn't love me or withdraw from me if I wasn't. As I've gotten older, I remain the "good girl" because I don't want to be on her sh*t list, as almost all of my siblings are. I can't risk her disapproval, yet, but I'm working on it.
take care, and you certainly aren't worthless. You have your own set of needs and don't feel guilty that you respond to her in a certain way that doesn't make her happy. That is truly her problem, not yours, but I can understand how much you feel about the repercussions for expressing yourself honestly.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:799847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799866.html