Posted by Dinah on November 30, 2007, at 6:46:53
I'm not feeling mountains of anxiety or incredibly depressed or overwhelmed by self destructive images. So I think I'm ok.
But I just realized that my recent inability to connect to my therapist is part of a larger pattern this month.
I came off a stressful deadline, only to have my computer break two days later, which was nearly two weeks of very stressful frantic backing up and restoration. Then the stress of the holidays, then another major stress involving my dogs.
This has been a month of incredible blankness. While I might seem ok minute to minute or in conversations, my days are lacking any continuity. I'm forgetting stuff if it isn't directly in front of my face. My default mode of thought is nothingness. And I can't remember who my therapist is in any real emotional sense. Any more than I can remember anything else in my life.
I'm sure it's some stress reaction. Too much stress for this poor middle age brain to process. So my brain is in shut down mode. That's a difficult thing for me to understand, since minute by minute I seem relatively ok. My boss even said I looked better than normal. Which is really the only thing I remember yesterday that isn't shrouded in haze.
poster:Dinah
thread:797790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797790.html