Posted by Daisym on November 27, 2007, at 0:29:02
In reply to Re: Giving advice about Therapy » RealMe, posted by sunnydays on November 26, 2007, at 22:07:40
I think it is very hard not to worry about whether our therapists are too hard or too soft -- but I think you said it best yourself. He is what you need right now. And that is the mark of a good therapist - to individualize the therapy enough to work for the client.
My therapist is a huge believer in attachment. He helps me feel OK about all these intense feelings for him. We have lots of ways for me to feel connected over breaks - I call and leave messages about how I'm doing, or I'll journal to him and take in the pages. If I need him to call me back, I'm supposed to say so. But if I'm having a really tough time, my therapist will call just to touch base. I've had people tell me how "bad" this is - and others who say it wouldn't work for them because they'd want it all the time. So I worry that somehow I've enticed him to do something wrong - does that sound like abuse stuff or what? He just reassures me that he is very capable of taking care of himself and he only does what he chooses to do. I don't have that much power. (Thank goodness.)
It works for us. Just like what you are doing works for you and your therapist.
Today I was wishing I'd done this work in my 20s - like you are doing. My therapist said a bunch of stuff and then he said, "and if you had, we probably wouldn't be working together. So it is fortuitous that you waited." :) He's right - I needed the right person to do this deep work with. But I'm glad he thinks so too.
You are doing good work. Try to trust your gut. It knows what you need.
poster:Daisym
thread:797085
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797244.html