Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2007, at 10:32:21
I've sometimes gotten the impression that the things I say to my therapist are out of the ordinary.
Do people feel comfortable engaging in dialogue about their therapist's role in the relationship? Questioning things that seem to be coming from them?
Some of the biggest moments in therapy have been a realization by him or by me about how we're relating. And it's just as helpful when it isn't mine.
I've always been careful not to ask even the teeniest thing about the him outside therapy. And to begin with, I think I thought it was bad form to mention what I was noticing *in* therapy. But when I got the courage to do that, and was met with a positive reaction, I found it made a huge difference in sorting out what was mine and what was his, or how much I was distorting reality.
I have to credit him to be willing to do rigorous self examination about himself in his role of therapist. He never responds to me in these matters without a period of silence where he really does seem to be considering what I'm saying and comparing it to what he's feeling and sensing about himself.
I know that sometimes what I say here sounds confrontational, and it almost never is confrontational in person. Attitude and tone and subtle word choices that don't come across in a summary of what happened are very important in setting the tone. And the tone is usually a frank one, but laced with the mutual caring that I think we both really trust in.
poster:Dinah
thread:795906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/795906.html