Posted by JoniS on October 29, 2007, at 8:19:29
In reply to so alone...**Trigger**, posted by B2chica on October 29, 2007, at 7:47:46
I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time, B2. "Why were you ever born?" because God created you specifically and loves you. :-)
I recently had a depressive episode where I planned my demise as well. I knew I needed to tell my T and he told me to come in that day. What really kept me safe was talking to my daughter (she is 26). I said to her "what if I moved to Mexico for a year?" (I just came back from a missin trip there). My daughter was very upset. She would be devastated and mad at me for leaving her. I know that she would forever be hurt if I wasn't around for her as she goes through her life, having kids, etc. That is what made me realize that I need to try harder to stop the thoughts of ending my life. Along with that I really need to set a goal to find something to give me pleasure. I know I can't fix everything, but one thing at a time.
You have so much going for you. I know that you have what it takes to triumph over your depression and come out of it a stronger person. So keep the faith, give yourself credit for the hard work you are doing. -Look what a survivor you are! At times when you feel really low about your own life, think about the times that your daughter wants to spend with you as she grows up. Sharing life with her will bring you much joy.
Try to put the work troubles in perspective. Your work does not define you. You can always change where you work if necessary. (This has also been one of my struggles)
By the way, I take Wellbutrin, AND Effexor, AND Lamictal. This combination helps me greatly. Whenever I've thought I need to "ween off" I always start sinking, physically and mentally. When I first started on these meds, I was dizzy and not feeling so well. But after a couple weeks everything evened out.
I hope today and this week go much better for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You are not alone. Babble hearts are with you!
((((((((B2))))))))
Joni
poster:JoniS
thread:792116
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/792117.html