Posted by DAisym on October 8, 2007, at 15:38:46
In reply to Re: those letters you write without meaning to send, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 11:25:36
Aren't most important relationships ambiguous? I think writing the letters from both perspectives is a great idea. It will probably provide clarity and a needed release of all that has been pent up. Even if you understand her probable reasons for hurting you, it still hurt. Writing it out will allow you to reflect on the hurt, and whether you need to talk it out with her, or work on it in therapy, if it is more about you holding on to it somehow.
I definitely parented my younger sister. She called me up a few years ago and let me have it for "letting" my dad abuse her. She told me all about how he touched her. She has no idea what happened to me (she's a lot younger) -- and I still have not told her. I admit to thinking "that's it? That's all that happened to you? Let me tell you about REAL abuse..." but that would be my stuff. What happened to her was traumatic and not my fault. (OK, I can type that, I still have a hard time believing it.) And a lot of this is anger that should be placed on our mother. So she is working through it. And I am too, in my relationship with her. I won't lie to you - it was hard to hear and I did want to defend myself. As your sister probably will too. But it sounds like it is important to you to reconnect and she will appreciate that, I'm guessing.
I agree - write the letters, let them sit for a few days and then decide what to do.
poster:DAisym
thread:787855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787905.html