Posted by emily99 on October 8, 2007, at 10:16:39
In reply to Self-Love Vs Self-Appreciation, posted by GimmeARepeat on October 7, 2007, at 22:21:22
This is a really tough question, and has had me thinking about it for quite a while!
I think that self-love is there whether we feel it or not. At the same time I can feel self-hatred when I'm really depressed. I can also feel self-appreciation even when there's self-hatred, because deep down I do love myself. For example, when I'm really depressed, I can occasionally laugh at myself for the thought-circles I get myself into. I appreciate that about me. Self-esteem for me seems to be related to what other people think of me, or what I imagine them to think.
All of these that you mention, self-love, self-hatred, self-appreciation and self-esteem; have a distinct meaning of their own. I believe that we can have all of these without feeling any of them.
Two of my close family members have committed suicide -- my first husband and my oldest son. I have tried to imagine what they were thinking at the time. I always come down to believing that they were in so much pain, that it seemed the only way out. There is also evidence that both of them had been planning it for quite some time. Did they have all of the self-beliefs that you mention? I think they probably did in some form, and that anger was at the root of their pain.
I talk about this quite stoically, because it's been hard for me to feel my own pain. I think it would be too much for me otherwise, so I take it in little bits as a time. The hardest part is to not take on self-blame.
It would help to answer your question if you gave some specific examples that lead you to ask the question.
I will still be thinking about this all day and perhaps even write myself a little "term" paper about it.
Very good question.
Emily
poster:emily99
thread:787734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787841.html