Posted by muffled on October 7, 2007, at 10:31:05
In reply to Re: :-( :-( Dunno WHAT to do***SEX trigger***:- » muffled, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2007, at 22:53:27
SO,
I told DH in the PM that someone on the net says snuggly in AM NOT good w/kids. Took me nerve just to say that...cuz of course, then he say Ohhhh so PM OK and sidles over! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I was prepared, 4 xanax already down the hatch 20 mins earlier. HA!
So. Well, didn't actually DO it, but more closer.
It was still so hard. I kept YELLING at the kid inside to GO. I kept saying, its OK. I had a portable radio by my head that I clung to. I kept my back to him. I told him not to talk so much(sorry, he's a wonderful man , but Lord almighty sometimes he says THE dumbest things....).
Funnily enuf, there was a part that tried to be there and it was LAUGHING and thot this all quite a lark. I tried SO hard to encourage that part, but it just kinda came and went. There just was too much other crap going on in my head.
I think I came and went dissociativelywise too, but couldn't make it stick.
So mebbe hubby don't feel like such a reject....
It was still so hard, but if i can find out who the hell was laughing, then thats proly the key... or then again.....mebbe someone was just real stoned out on the xanax....just hope none of my ikids was around, that bugs me...
Its not so easy.
LOL.
Oh well.
Thanks for all support.
It gave me the courage to go this far, and I think its important, cuz while it sucked, I COULD accept some closerness, and proly w/time it can be more tolerable.
Thanks.
M
poster:muffled
thread:785464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787544.html