Posted by Dory on September 23, 2007, at 13:35:02
In reply to pain and life, posted by Dory on September 22, 2007, at 10:17:11
i am having such a hard time physically. It's driving me nuts, making me irritable and not so great to be around. i am in pain and i can't seem to shake the tiredness. It seems i am having an allergic reaction to *something* but i don't know what... i have my hepafilter on max, i swept and vac'd just yesterday. It's a little dusty here, but nothing is stirring it up. i had an allergy test done and i know they can't test for everything but i can't think of anything in my environment which didn't get tested. Highly reactive to dust but not moulds or anything... only plant one is maple pollen and that's gone now.
i feel awful. :o(
i have so much to do. i have several proposals to write and a huge pile of difficult sociology/political theory to read. i need groceries and to go to wallyworld. Coulda shoulda woulda. i already know i'll end up having to sleep most of the day away. :o(
it's no excuse but it's hard to be giving and be friendly or anything when i struggle just to get through the day. i have been feeling like i need a good cry but nothing happens. i just sit there.
i want to invite people over, for dinner, or have a little party... but i know i can;t count on having the strength to do it. Being social is a real effort for me.
i see my pdoc tomorrow and i am not looking forward to it. Since he and my GP are on the war path i dread seeing either of them.
i see T tomorrow morning and i'm not wanting to do that either. i feel really pressured. i had a bad incident happen on Friday which threw me into a bad place... and i gave in and left a message. i know that's the first thing he'll say.. but i don't want to talk about it anymore.
i can't really see how i can talk about anything significant in an hour. Seriously. i can;t even just describe a lot of this in an hour. How the f*ck does anyone *do* this? i mean, especially the past stuff... how can you explain any of the horrible sh*t that happened? In an hour? Please. If he was unwilling to read my letters outside our hour i don't know what i would do.
ok.. going back to feeling like poo.. :o(
poster:Dory
thread:784465
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784665.html