Posted by RealMe on August 28, 2007, at 21:48:31
It seems by the time I can post after work and dinner, hardly anyone is posting any more, so I guess I sort of lag a day behind. Sorry.
Today I wanted to sit closer to my therapist but just could not bring myself to do so. I sat in the damn chair so far away, it seems I can't really make out his face. Well I have cataracts from my damn asthma med's but still it is far away to sit. So he was having trouble with his leg, it seemed, and I asked if he was okay, and he said he twisted his knee over the weekend. So, when I wanted to show him some pictures of different things related to what we have talked about, everything from me as a small child, Bambi bigger now, and a picture of what the tornado looked like as it was coming toward me in Kansas one time when I was driving home from Osawatomie, Kansas to Topeka (a 90 mile one way trip).
So that he would not have to get up, I moved over to the couch to sit, and when he was done looking at the pictures, I just sat there but put my briefcase in front of me on my lap. What a dope am I. I said, well I am sitting here now. He said yes and just smiled. Then he kind of mimiced one of my faces, and I asked him to please not do that because I feel like he is making fun of me. It was after that that I pursued my "why can't you say if you like me?" With my saying I think you do finally, he smiled and shook his head yes. But before that he would not say as he wanted to know why it was so important to me to know if he liked me or did not like me, etc. For crying out loud; who wants to work with someone who does not like him or her?" Not me. When I could finally get out of my head and into my heart and gut, then I could get in touch with the fact that he does like me.
I guess I also realized today that this is where I have to go, to my gut and heart to deal with other stuff too. Out of the head that can always talk me into or out of anthing, the head that misinterprets and misunderstands. Who ever said this therapy is hard is surely right. I could keep it light, but I am afraid I would only be allowed to do this for a time, and then there would be the pressure to get on with it and lets talk about why you came to see me. URRRGH! Lets not. Lets just keep things nice and pleasant.
RealMe (Oz)
poster:RealMe
thread:779419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/779419.html