Posted by muffled on August 25, 2007, at 22:28:37
In reply to Re: Question *sex trigger*-all yous guys » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on August 25, 2007, at 16:32:02
> My T has LOTS of ideas why, Muffly. LOL She says it's all related to the abuse from my childhood -- whether sexual abuse or not. She says lots of things about the abuse coming during my formative years when I was figuring out my place in my body, in the family, in the community and in the world. And that the whole process was deeply affected by the abuse. She says for me, being on the exam table in a very vulnerable position with docs who aren't listening to me just brings up every abuse response I have in me. And because it's harder for me to dissociate now, the feelings and the fury are coming out. She has to work hard not to be pleased about the whole thing -- not because she wants this to be so hard for me, but because she considers it evidence of the work we've done together.
**Oh MAN! Your t sounds like an eager beaver! Mine has said a time or two she's ready to do a happy dance!?! But thankfully she declined to ACTUALLY do so! LOL!
Sigh, vulnerable.
I rarely feel vulnerable cuz I have tricked myself into thinking I am an impenetrable fortress of toughness. I actually honestly didn't realize that I was a small person until I was in my early twenties....seriously!
Funny thing is, that sense of 'tough' was SO strong in me, that noone ever messed w/me...its rather strange really. Mind you, I always packed and was pure muscle and sinew...
Now I just bones and blubber!
Weird looking back on stuff....She said our task now is to try to get the adult me to take charge of that situation and help the little me feel safe and protected. And one way to do that is to insist that the doctors listen to me and to insist they give me whatever drugs are going to help that be less torturous.
**awww TG, this so awful for you, I'm sorry. I wonder if they can give you some ativan just before the exam, a hefty dose at that...
Guess if they won't give you drugs, you could get weed and be massively stoned? Mind you, I been parnoid on this modern day weed, its just not the same as when I was a kid. Can your t write your doc and get you a script for ativan? You just stick it under your tongue and it melts and works pretty fast.
My mom used hypnosis for dental work...I not too happy myself w/hynosis though, unless you have someone you trust with you at all times.
I honestly dunno how your going to be able to do all the gynecological stuff w/o drugs?
Oddly, I am OK w/gynecological exams for the most part. My GP is very matter of fact, and very quick, and...well...silly, but she's small, and for that reason, not very threatening I guess.
There's only two specific points that I find hard in the exam, but rest is OK really.
Mebbe stick something, like a pic, on the ceiling, and you can dissoc yourself into the pic?
And really loud music playing on headphones?
Wish I had a magic answer for you.
>
> The gynecological surgery you had as a teen could very well be causing this reaction, it seems to me. Or it could be some combination of things from your childhood.**dunno, mebbe. I'll say more in HF post below.
>
> For you, I'm not sure what the process of taking back control would look like. But I'm guessing it would have to do with the adult you taking charge and being in control of the pleasurable parts and putting your i-kids to bed beforehand. It would probably also have to involve your husband letting you take the lead and being in total control. I know this is really, really hard. And I believe you are going to need a T (either the one you already trust, hint, hint, or a new one) to help you figure it out. I know I couldn't do it by myself.**I have tried that. Told kid in no uncertain terms to GO AWAY. It DID help, I have to try that again. It feels so silly and ridiculous this "kid" stuff, but its just true. I sure as hell wouldn't beleive it, unless I experienced it myownself.
ROFL!!! Hint hint!! ;-)>
> I'm thinking about you, though.Thanks ((TG))
Actually today started rough, but I had a pretty good evening, so that was nice.
I really appreciate your support.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:778532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/778679.html