Posted by sunnydays on August 10, 2007, at 17:02:01
In reply to Re: getting back into therapy. » sunnydays, posted by Squiggles on August 10, 2007, at 14:29:55
Well, my abuser will probably never change how she reacts to things. I can't say that it's as extreme as her killing me if I stood up to her, as I know she would never do that, but she has threatened to have me arrested before for no reason at all.
Therapy helps me find ways to disconnect from the abuser. That way I don't necessarily have to confront her or can do so at a safe distance. For example, I was only able to make the choice not live there anymore after I was in therapy, and that has changed my life. My abuser wasn't happy about that, to be sure, and she still tries to play games to get me to come back, but I'm strong enough now to resist. If you are that afraid of an abuser killing you, I would personally suggest a restraining order so they can't come near you. But therapy can help you find strategies that will work for you. It doesn't have to be standing up to the abuser - I wouldn't say I have stood up to mine yet - you and the therapist can collaborate and come up with a plan of action that's best for you. That's the great thing about therapy - it is completely and totally individualized.
As far as therapy being miraculous, I wouldn't say so. It has taken over two years of hard work to get where I am today, and I have never in my life felt better, although hopefully I can still move forward from where I am. I am fairly young (I was 18 when I started therapy), so that may help my progress some, being less tied down to a family and career I can be more flexible with some of my life choices. But overall it's just a lot of hard work. Therapy certainly may not be right for everyone, but it can help a whole lot of people. It does require a certain willingness to do the work. That is sort of a minimum requirement for it to work, I would think. But it's not magic at all, I don't mean to imply that. It's just that the changes in my life have been so great, that I am just incredibly thankful that I have been able to do this work with the therapist that I have. I'm lucky to have one of the really good ones.
And actually, he is a licensed clinical social worker. Therapists don't have to be Ph.D's - it sounded from one of your posts that you might have thought that. There can be everyone from life coaches to pastoral counselors to social workers to psychologists... and the list goes on but I don't remember the rest of the categories.
But it's just my opinion of therapy, there are certainly many people who have not found it helpful. But it has helped me.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:775224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775339.html