Posted by OzLand on July 26, 2007, at 21:49:43
In reply to Yesterday's Session, posted by B2chica on July 26, 2007, at 9:07:34
Oh gosh; starting backwards. The person will live like we all have when a therapist is late. I have to walk past the next person everytime I leave my T, and I hate it especially if I have been crying.
Do I ever know what you went through. When I had the one session, I was blubbering and sobbing uncontrollably, and that is just not me. I think I feel okay about it with this therapist though. He knows me as competent as well, and he is experienced in the area and so there it is.
The thing is that it feels like being psychotic, but really it is all part of dissociating. I sometimes call it psychotic becasue that is how it feels to me to have these parts that are me but seem separate. Before they did not even seem like part of me and were not aware of the other parts. Now I know it is me, and it seems weird to see myself in my mind at another age and yet know it is me and know and see me as that little girl and how she felt rather than to become her. As far as safety is concerned, that is really important, and I have yet to figure out how to feel safe--no safe place that I can think of. So, I need to develop something in my mind. My therapist thus far has been able to bring me back to the present, and that is something that does scare me; what if he can't. He makes me look at him and listen and then talks very softly but very directly and starts to say all manner of positive things and won't let me drift off.
You know; sometimes I wonder about this, and of course I say so to my therapist--lets just forget it. And he reminds me that I opened the box that had been shut for some 10 years, and so I might as well stop trying to shut it in the box again. Besides it doen't work.
I hope you can be okay with the no co-pay and extra time if you need it. I had that at Menninger's when I was outpatient, and I am so glad or I would be in even worse shape. If you let the guilt consume you, then you will not be able to take advantage of the situation. That is how it is. You will be avoiding taking advantage of a good thing. Please don't do that.
OzLand
poster:OzLand
thread:772053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/772236.html