Posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 19:33:53
In reply to Needs and my situation with T.....help!!, posted by jammerlich on July 22, 2007, at 17:13:43
Time for a round of Cards on the Table with your T. As with any relationship, you have to be able to state very clearly what you need and want. Her "come here/go away" vibe can't be helping much. She sounds a lot like my ex-T.
You're right. You do need someone who can help you survive the telling of your story. She does not sound like that kind of person. You need to be able to tell her very clearly that you need it to be OK for you to need her. If that makes her squeamish, you are only setting yourself up for more misery/unmet needs..you deserve much better.
Talk very honestly(write it down if you have to, and read it to her if need be)and clearly with her about what you need and want from her, and your confusion with the "come here/go away" stuff. Don't let her tell you it's your stuff. You are picking up some very clear vibes from HER that she needs to be responsible for. I
If she doesn't seem willing to at least listen, you may need to find someone else, as horrible as that may sound. There is no sense in continuing to see someone who cannot or will not understand what your needs are, and what you need from a T relationship.
Good luck to you! Keep us posted!
poster:Maria01
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771203.html