Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 10, 2007, at 18:40:25
In reply to Re: Having a difficult time and T is too kind » OzLand, posted by muffled on July 9, 2007, at 22:06:08
oz, how are you today?
This work thing is really distressing. Just when you thought you had enough on your plate there is less support for you.I used to email my pdoc a LOT. poor pdoc. I would agonize over these emails. Alternating between wanting to reveal just how bad I was and wanting him to stop worrying/caring about me. Wanting him to see how sick I was and wanting him to respect me for my incontrolledness.
that song. gets me in the mood everytime. but my anthem is the funeral march from Beethoven's 7th. I can set it on loop and progress from "bad mood" to "plotting" within an hour. music...
A lot of people (like me) have profound memory problems because of psychological/psychiatric issues. I can't remember whole chunks of time, or episodes from only a few days ago. promises I've made, places I've been. It's absolutely rotten. I feel like a spongebrained imbecile. You've come up with some good strategies. I think I *used* to have good strategies, but I forgot how to use them when the pressure for job performance ended abruptly in May. A month after graduation and it feels like aeons. years since I left chicago. how long have I been living here? no context. no fabric to sew my thread into. No past, no future. Memory loss can be very scary. You're going to get better though. Slowly but surely. the brain is a very clever organ. smart meat.
all 3 of the T's I've had in this past year have told me (warned me) that in dredging up past issues (i.e. abuse) there will be times when things feel worse than ever. part of the process blah blah blah. you know this stuff, but it's so hard to see the other side when you're in the midst of it.
Your new T/pdoc sounds really caring and kind. I wish you the best as you embark
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:768245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/768810.html